


Xiumin

by LilacBrown889, mercrutch064fan



Series: Lilac's EXO One-Shots [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Idol Kim Minseok | Xiumin, after taoluris leave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27117700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacBrown889/pseuds/LilacBrown889, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercrutch064fan/pseuds/mercrutch064fan
Summary: After yet another concert ends, Minseok reminisces about the past and longs for a better life.
Series: Lilac's EXO One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979371





	Xiumin

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I wrote this in 2016 in a fit of angst after binging EXO Showtime. I don't Actually think that EXO hates their lives. I certainly hope they don't. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Another concert, done. As the roaring ocean faded away, the strong, uplifting energy of adrenaline coursing through his veins was replaced by the strangeness of the after-concert; the removal of makeup and the return to normal clothes. The silent drive back to wherever they’re staying that night, and the still-awkward time just before they sleep, all reminders of the weight that the company forces onto them, briefly forgotten in the thrill of another concert.

He had almost forgotten this, these long, lonely nights, after the stage goes quiet. And even though he loved the charmed idol’s life he was living, he couldn’t help but long for the days when he was free; when he was  _ himself _ . 

Everything was manufactured by the company. Sure, some things were true. Though the company had tried to hide their true heights, it was hard to lie about something as obvious as that. They also didn’t hide many things from the past, such as former schools and whatnot. Those things could be checked easily. 

But everything else was carefully manufactured. The seemingly effortless interactions he had with the members, were only a constant show, put on for the cameras. The smiles, the hugs, the laughter; everything was fake. And Xiumin was sick of it. 

_ Minseok _ was sick of it. He was sick of avoiding the people he saw on a regular basis. He was tired of the hidden grimaces when they did skinship for the fans. He was tired of having to force himself to be shy (he wasn’t, normally. He envied Baekhyun’s extroverted persona sometimes). He wanted it to stop, just everything  _ stop.  _

‘So what?’ said the voice inside his head. ‘Do you want to leave? You know you could. They did.’

But he didn’t want to leave, not necessarily. He just didn’t want to have this large bubble of awkwardness between him and the people he saw all the time. He knew it didn’t always have to be like this. It hadn’t been like this  _ before. _

‘Well what are you going to do about it, then? You know nothing will change unless you do something.  _ They _ certainly aren’t going to.’ 

Him? What could he do? Even the younger members didn’t respect enough to listen. He thinks it's because they have to respect him on camera. He’d long ago stopped trying, backing down in the face scoffing he received when he tried to organize the others.

‘Look on the bright side. You could be arguing with everything like some of the others. And besides, with D.O and Chanyeol and Lay and Sehun gone filming their movies, there’s less people around most of the time. It’s not as bad as it could be.’

Minseok sighed. The inner voice was right, as always. He would just have to wait, then, and hope something would change. “Only a few more years to go,” he whispered to himself. “And then you’ll be free again.”


End file.
